‘Twas the day after Easter, and this preacher is spent
my energy’s missing. It got up and went.

The lights are all off. The Sanctuary’s bare
The pews are all empty, not a person is there,

The nurseries are closed, the children are gone,
remaining are only cross pictures they’ve drawn.

The staff’s ready for jammies, and I in my cap,
Everyone’s dreaming of a long Nazarene nap.

When into the office there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

Away from my chair I flew like a flash,
ran into the wall, what a terrible crash.

when, what to my wondering ears should I hear,
but Karla saying, you’re not done, my sweet dear.

My little old lady, will be mad as a whip,
The moment she reads this silly little quip.

The Attendance Queen listed all the people who came,
 she whistled and shouted and called them by name:

“There’s a Joe and Shirley, a Billy and a Bob!
All these visitors make my pretty head throb!
On, Johnson! On, Smith!
On, Jones and On Jack!
To the top of each page!
the folder is packed!
Now write away! Write away!
Write to them all!”

As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
I have no time to question or wonder why?

Each guest needs a note or a visitor letter
From the pastor saying church would be better

If only you’d only come more than twice a year
My preaching has a story you simply must hear

The Savior loves you so very, very much
He’ll bless your days with His gentle touch. 

His eyes–how they love you! His hands, how strong!
His message is always, you truly belong!

So come every Sunday, unless you are sick
Then watch on-line and get better quick.

We want you here, as much as you’re able
Sharing bread and wine at the Lord’s table 

But If your next visit is for a candle to light
You’ll hear me exclaim,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”