Thanksgiving Jokes– Central Church Version

What do you call it when these Flint Central ladies (Mrs. Bradley, Mrs. Daly, Mrs. Fyock, Mrs. Metzger, Mrs. Willyard and Miss White) march down 6th Avenue on the fourth Thursday in November?
Stacy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

Thanks to Covid, what is the most popular side dish this Thanksgiving?
Masked Potatoes.

Why was Pastor Joey insulted at the free turkey giveaway?
Someone gave him the bird.

What hymn was Nate Degner singing when the turkey escaped?
His Eye is on the Sparrow

Why did Pastor Jon Livengood turn red?
He saw the turkey dressing

What does Pastor Jon Gildner call his brother when he falls asleep after Thanksgiving dinner?
His Napkin.

When Megan Cousins asked the sweet potato if it was tired of the Lions losing, what did it say?
Yes, I yam.

How did God save Daniel in the Lions’ den?
God placed a goal line between Daniel and the Lions. The Lions never crossed it.

Why didn’t Pastor Wendy season the Thanksgiving turkey?
There was no thyme.

What part of the turkey does Mark Routt, Landon Fee and Tyler Chapin eat every year?
The Drum Stick

How did Bethany Hack win the fight with the turkey?
She knocked the stuffing out of it

What did Gary Queen serve for Thanksgiving dinner after he sat on the sweet potatoes?
Squash.

What did Pastor Anthony say when he was asked to say grace at Thanksgiving Dinner?
Grace.

What kind of music was Pastor Enosh playing when the Pilgrims arrived?
Plymouth Rock

Why did Pastors Todd and Roshanda call the police on the turkey?
They suspected fowl play

What did the turkey say when Pastor Don Phillips went turkey hunting?
Quack, Quack!

How is Covid and a Turkey similar?
To save your neck you have to socially distance (People from the virus; the turkey from the axe)

If Pilgrims travelled on the Mayflower, what do our Olivet Nazarene Chenoweth Award winners travel on?
Scholar Ships.

What happened when Deb LaVictoire’s cranberries became sad?
They turned into blueberries.

Why did Kristen Bedell, Sue Weinand and Dean Weir (Central Church’s finance secretary, business manager and church treasurer) advise the church to not buy the Thompson Ranch Turkey Farm Restaurant on Hill road?
They thought it would gobble up our savings.

How is standing in Pastor Rob’s backyard this spring and on Plymouth Rock in 1620 similar? (Hint: Karla’s middle name is May). Both times you’d see Karla May’s Flowers.

What Thanksgiving treat is most popular in Children’s Church?
Pastor Janet’s Crayon-berry Sauce

What did Jordan Loudermilk say the day after Thanksgiving?
I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

What did Justin Hilliard get when he divided the circumference of the pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi

Why was Karen Donaldson’s Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.

How is Pastor Rob’s Thanksgiving Jokes and butter similar?
They are both on a roll. (“No, they are not,” groans Pastor Tyler)

What did Pastor Rob say when all the other pastors begged him to quit telling these terrible Thanksgiving Jokes?
I can’t quit cold turkey.

OK, yes, I can. You may stop your groaning.

And stop groaning about Thanksgiving 2020. This Thanksgiving may be different than in most years, but Jesus is still King! We all have blessings we can count! And we can always be thankful for Jesus and His great love!

Praying you and you your family have a blessed Thanksgiving Day.

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