If 2020 were…

If 2020 were…

a car… it would be a Ford Pinto (runners up are an AMC Gremlin and Chevy Vega).

a vegetable… it would be cauliflower (duh!).

a drink it would be Clenpiq (a colonoscopy prep drink).

a bug…it would be a mosquito (stink bug and dung beetle come in at #2 and #3).

a TV show…. It would be Naked and Afraid (don’t @ me).

a movie… it would be any Rocky movie after Rocky II.

a Pro Football team… (sorry my fellow diehards) … it would be the Detroit Lions.

a kid’s show… it would be Teletubbies (It’s really Barney. I caved under the pressure from the lovers of the purple dinosaur who have been known to be very vengeful).

candy… it would be Raisinets (Raisinets because Circus Peanuts or Dots do not include raisins in their list of ingredients).

a holiday… it would be Arbor Day. (Everyone likes trees…but have you ever attended an Arbor Day Party? Received an Arbor Day present or card? Probably not… since you have to kill a tree to make a party invitation, a wrapping paper or a greeting card. It’s too complicated for a holiday.).

a superhero… it would be Howard the Duck (Interestingly, Howard the Duck also in the running for “if 2020 was a movie”)

a cereal… it would be Kellogg’s All-Bran (For the same reason Clenpiq is listed above)

a state… it would be Ohio (sorry, my Buckeye friends. OK, not sorry)

 a song… it would be anything sung by Vanilla Ice

 a physical ailment… it would be a hemorrhoid (can a Nazarene pastor make a butt joke and keep his/her credentials?  If I’m not in the pulpit on Sunday, you’ll have your answer).


But (FYI: This usage of the word “but” is approved by the Nazarene manual) 2020 is a year and like all years (unless Jesus returns) it will pass and a new year will come. Hang in there, friends! Phineas F. Bresee (or maybe it was Thomas Edison just before creating the light bulb) said, “It’s always darkest before dawn.” In the meantime, relax, be kind, be patient and keep living the Philippians 3:14 life:

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.


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