For Pastors, the Monday After Easter means…

• Sleeping in. Hello pillow my old friend.
• Two Words: Binge NetFlix
• Queasy stomachs. Now you know why they are called “devilled eggs.”
• Dress/Suit back into a closet until a funeral or next Easter whichever comes first.
• Sugar high. For the No Candy during Lent crowd.
• Caffeine rush. For the faithfully deprived coffee drinkers.
• Back on Facebook following the Lenten fast. Scroll timeline for two minutes, realize it’s still a cesspool and life drain and decide to delete account.
• Hangovers. Hey, Episcopalians recognize Lent too. (I’m joking, my Episcopalian friends)
• Empty plastic eggs. Mostly under your bare foot at 2AM.
• Ham leftovers. Ham and eggs for breakfast. Ham sandwiches for lunch. Fried ham and scalloped potatoes for dinner. Bean soup tomorrow.
• Second thoughts. Wishing there was a little more Umpff in that “He is Risen!” line.
• Calculating. How to get yesterday’s crowd to come back before Christmas?
• Wal-Mart Trips. Easter candy 50% off.
• Fake Easter Grass in the dog’s food dish, in between the couch cushions and in the ice maker. How did it get in there?
• “Hello Pastor. This is Ima Grumbler. I hate to bother you on a Monday, but how come we didn’t sing all four verses of Up from the Grave He Arose. It ain’t Easter if we don’t sing all four verses of Up from the Grave He Arose. I’m sure the Baptists sang all four verses of Up from The Grave He Arose. I hope next year we sing all four verses of Up from the Grave He Arose.”There are only three verses in the hymn and its name is Christ Arose not Up from the Grave He Arose.“Oh. Nevermind. Good-bye.”
• Free lilies! Anyone? Anyone?
• Maybe the Easter Egg dye will come off my fingers by Mother’s Day.
• Forget something at church? Sorry, no one answers the church’s phone on Monday.
• 354 days until Good Friday (April 10, 2020).
• He is still risen! He is still risen indeed.