1). No Problem finding your car in the parking lot (It’s the lonely Chevy surrounded by empty spaces).
2). If you are allergic to Easter lilies, sneeze no more. They were out of the sanctuary quicker than Michigan State was out in this year’s NCAA basketball tourney (Too soon, Sparty? Sorry!)
3). No pressure to wear the most fashionable Easter Bonnet. (The last Easter Bonnet was worn by Mrs. Bertha Davis at the First Baptist Church of Hattiesburg, Mississippi in 1998.)
4). Two Bulletins for the price of one. (Our worship folders are always free).
5). Plenty of seats in the front (and in the back and on the side and in the balcony and in the… well… you get the idea)
6). If you have agoraphobia (fear of crowds), you have no worries. Of course, if you have monophobia(fear of being alone) you might want to consider bringing a friend.
7). No Tithe Sunday! (That’s a lie).
8).You feel bad that no one will be there to laugh at the preacher’s corny jokes (Who’s kidding who? Even in a packed sanctuary no one laughs at the preacher’s jokes… not this preacher’s jokes anyway. Notice your lack of chuckles, giggles and merriment to #7 as proof).
9). The Choir will take requests from the “crowd.”(Umm… no they won’t).
And the VERY best reason to come back to church on the Sunday AFTER Easter…
10). You love Jesus and you want to praise Him on Easter and every other day too! Let’s not wait until heaven to join in the chorus singing, “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.” (Revelation 4:11)