Colonel Sander’s mom: I’d don’t care, how good the chicken is—stop lickin’ your fingers.
Jesse James’ mom: Not just in the bank, wear your mask all over town, young man.
Charles Pfizer’s mom: The “P” is silent but you are not. Quiet down, I’m watching Wheel of Fortune (fyi… Charles Pfizer lived from 1824-1906. I’m not sure Wheel of Fortune had premiered yet.).
Macbeth’s Mom: Wash your hands (a little Shakespearian humor)
Neil Armstrong’s mom: What do I have to do to keep you from going into crowds? Send you to the moon?
Chuck Noland’s Mom (the guy Tom Hanks portrayed in Castaway): Quit complaining about being alone. At least Wilson didn’t talk back. Try quarantining with a fifth grader who has no interest in learning math and you have no idea how to teach it.
George Costanza’s mom: If you are going to be a hand model make sure you use hand sanitizer. Oven mitts and hand sanitizer. (Obscure Seinfeld referenced joke).
Mike Tyson’s mom: You think that heavyweight hits hard, wait until that lil’ nurse gives you two jabs in the arm.
Bill Gates’ mom: If you thought the Windows 97 virus was bad…
Luke Skywalker’s mom: The Pfizer is strong in this one.
Those are all dumb.
This Sunday is my annual Tie Wearing Sunday, aka Mother’s Day. I preach in a tie to honor my mom (she liked it when I would wear a tie). Now that she’s in heaven, I doubt that she cares that I have a tie on or not. Still I wear one to remember her. Hope you can honor your mom or the special ladies in your life—one of the best ways is bring them (or join them) in church.