My 2020 Definitions are Far Different from What They Would Have been in 2019

Prior to 2020, I would have given the following definitions to these words and phrases:

Covid-19: Code name for the attempt to obtain a conspiracy video after the first 18 spies failed

Quarantines: When Quaran-children get a little older

Lock down: The deadbolt is at the bottom of the door

Sorry, no toilet paper: Why the mischievous youth group members didn’t go to the youth pastor’s house on the night before he/she returned from vacation

Superspreader: Someone really good at making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

Socially distant: Staying away from Facebook or Twitter

Sports bubble: The new Bazooka gum flavor

PPE: What the mean consonants called the non-potty trained vowel

ZOOM: The sound I formerly made when running (now it’s more like “putt putt putt”)

You’re on Mute!:  What the sound guy said when I accidentally stepped on his pet ferret

Flatten the curve: A new workout regimen designed to get rid of my extra ten pounds

Phone…  Keys… Wallet…  Mask: A new Hokey Pokey type of dance move

Pfizer: My brother Pfred’s name Pfor his Pfamous Pflaming Pfajitas

Curbside pickup: A project to “Keep America Clean”

Distant Learning: Back row students

Asymptomatic: If I would have known, that it was a thing to not look sick, act sick or in any way seem sick, but still be sick, I would have claimed being asymptomatic for every disease known to man in high school.

Elbow Bump: What happens when you are too wide for a narrow passageway

Contactless Delivery: When a new mom loses her vision aids before the baby arrives

Amazon: Of course, I knew what Amazon was before 2020.  But we didn’t know that Jeff Bezos would personally thank Karla for being an overly frequent customer. (That did not happen).

I’m writing these witty little musings (well, ahem…”witty” in one writer’s opinion), while sitting in the back of the sanctuary listening to our bands, orchestra and singers practice. This Sunday we are singing “Joy to World” and a few other carols. I also was able to hear the soloist for our Christmas Eve services singing “O Holy Night.”  Two words: Wow Weeeeeeeee!

Hearing the carols being sung has reminded me how much I need carols this year. Maybe more than ever, I need them! I want to “go tell it on the mountain” to our pandemic-y world that in spite of all that we have endured in 2020, we can still be faithful, joyful and, yes, triumphant!

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