Prior to 2020, I would have given the following definitions to these words and phrases:
Covid-19: Code name for the attempt to obtain a conspiracy video after the first 18 spies failed
Quarantines: When Quaran-children get a little older
Lock down: The deadbolt is at the bottom of the door
Sorry, no toilet paper: Why the mischievous youth group members didn’t go to the youth pastor’s house on the night before he/she returned from vacation
Superspreader: Someone really good at making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Socially distant: Staying away from Facebook or Twitter
Sports bubble: The new Bazooka gum flavor
PPE: What the mean consonants called the non-potty trained vowel
ZOOM: The sound I formerly made when running (now it’s more like “putt putt putt”)
You’re on Mute!: What the sound guy said when I accidentally stepped on his pet ferret
Flatten the curve: A new workout regimen designed to get rid of my extra ten pounds
Phone… Keys… Wallet… Mask: A new Hokey Pokey type of dance move
Pfizer: My brother Pfred’s name Pfor his Pfamous Pflaming Pfajitas
Curbside pickup: A project to “Keep America Clean”
Distant Learning: Back row students
Asymptomatic: If I would have known, that it was a thing to not look sick, act sick or in any way seem sick, but still be sick, I would have claimed being asymptomatic for every disease known to man in high school.
Elbow Bump: What happens when you are too wide for a narrow passageway
Contactless Delivery: When a new mom loses her vision aids before the baby arrives
Amazon: Of course, I knew what Amazon was before 2020. But we didn’t know that Jeff Bezos would personally thank Karla for being an overly frequent customer. (That did not happen).
I’m writing these witty little musings (well, ahem…”witty” in one writer’s opinion), while sitting in the back of the sanctuary listening to our bands, orchestra and singers practice. This Sunday we are singing “Joy to World” and a few other carols. I also was able to hear the soloist for our Christmas Eve services singing “O Holy Night.” Two words: Wow Weeeeeeeee!
Hearing the carols being sung has reminded me how much I need carols this year. Maybe more than ever, I need them! I want to “go tell it on the mountain” to our pandemic-y world that in spite of all that we have endured in 2020, we can still be faithful, joyful and, yes, triumphant!