• Preached a sermon series in January on having 20/20 vision this year only to look back and realize you had everything wrong.

• A little pride that your church softball team outdrew every major-league baseball team this season.

• A now former parishioner leave your church because you opened in person worship too soon.

• A now former parishioner leave your church because you didn’t open in person worship soon enough.

• Someone from the church inform you how they LOVE, REALLY LOVE another church’s livestream broadcast.

• Members have posted exciting pictures on social media of expeditions near and far, surrounded by friends, but have yet to join an in-person service and you have wondered if they have joined an on-line service for more than a “click” on and off.

• A certain level of excitement over attendance figures that would have caused you to turn in your letter of resignation six months ago (or at least cause serious sulking).

• Been told that if you don’t endorse Donald Trump your armpits should be infested by the fleas of 500 elephants.

• Been told that since you endorsed Donald Trump your armpits should be infested with the fleas of 1000 donkeys (Donkey lovers aren’t less compassionate; it’s just that a donkey is smaller than an elephant, hence less fleas).

• Preached a great sermon on Jesus’ words that we must be a servant of all, then before making it to the parking lot following that homiletical masterpiece, a parishioner complains about how they have a right to have this or that (usually the “this” and the “that” are not big deals, by the way).

• Considered a better career choice might have been sewer cleaner.

• Prayed through an open window with a parishioner in an assisted living facility.

• Officiated at a funeral with less than ten mourners present.

• Started missing church pot lucks and all-church picnics.

• Felt that God was telling you (more than once), “Quit crying, you big baby! Do you think you are the first servant of Mine who has gone through tough times? Ask Jeremiah, Daniel or Paul to name a few.”

• Prayed, “You are right, Lord. I’m in it for the long haul! I will praise you in the storm and thank you for the opportunity to be Your ambassador in a pandemic.”