Karla already has a list of “to do” things once the stay at home order is lifted. Seeing her hair stylist is tops on that list (not me, I like my mullet. The early eighties were good years for me). Second on her list is to go to a favorite restaurant (She’s growing tired of “Karla’s Kitchen”). Third is to have a quiet day at home, sans a certain mullet sporting someone who’s been hanging around a lot these days (she has rediscovered some of my annoying habits). And fourth on her list is to go shopping again minus the mullet man. It’s a good (albeit somewhat prejudiced against mullets) list.
Here is my list of what I am ready to do:
1). Preach to real people— instead of sermonizing to the person behind the camera (Karla). Karla knows all my jokes (see above statement on annoying habits) and I’ve discovered she doesn’t like most of them.
2). See the pastoral staff on a regular basis, instead of watching a little Zoom-created box on my screen. It will be weird not seeing them in ball caps and missing every fourth word due to a bad internet connection.
3). Develop a mask that doesn’t fog up one’s glasses. When I wear a mask, it fogs up my glasses and I can’t see. If I take off my glasses, I can’t see. If I take off my mask and leave my glasses on, I can see all who I might/could infect if I am a “Coronavirus Rob” (a Covid-19, male version of Typhoid Mary). Foggy glasses is a big problem. If I made a non-fogging-up-your-glasses mask, I’d make millions and our church debt would be wiped clean!
4). Start a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theorists. It may might go something like this: An informed unnamed source recently told me that all the conspiracy theorists have been infected with the Stupid-19 Virus. This strand of virus is undetected until the infected person types or speaks—at which time the virus is easily identified. There is no cure for Stupid-19. The CDC recommends socially distancing one’s social media platforms is the best stay-safe practice. There is also a virus strain named Cupid-19. People infected love even those with mullets. I’m secreting hoping…
But on the tip top of my list is from Psalm 122:1, that says:
5). I rejoiced with those who said to me, “Let us go to the house of the Lord.” I can’t wait to see my church folks, talk with them, rejoice with them, and worship together once more. Whether than happens with masks or without masks—I just can’t wait to see (even through foggy glasses) my church family
Not too much longer! Hang in there my friends!!