If I were Czar of the Words we Use

Every year the Merriam-Webster Dictionary people add new words to our vocabulary (last year 640 new words were added including: ‘buzzy,’ ‘gig economy, and ‘garbage time.’). I am not sure where I apply for the position, but I’d like to be the Merriam-Webster Word ELIMINATING Czar. I want to be the guy that eliminate or makes the rules for the words and phrases we use. If elected this position here are a few changes I would make:

IMPEACHMENT: if you must use this word, it can only be used in the following sentence: “Hey tic-tac mints have a new flavor. It’s called impeach-mint. It’s a nice peachy-minty flavor.”

 DIVIDED: This word can only be used to describe a math problem. It can never be applied to people. Even when people disagree over major issues, it must be remembered that we all have been created in the image of God. We have a common bond– a common humanity that should overcome the nastiness and angst that pervades us.

NEWS JUNKIE: I’ve never heard someone say, “I’m a Bible junkie.” If folks spent one tenth of the time in the Bible that they spend watching their favorite news channel, the world would be a better place.

IT’S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY: Whether it’s a sport’s figure describing why he signed a contract with another team or a parishioner making excuses for his/her poor tithing record– whenever someone says “It’s not about the money,” it’s ALWAYS about the money.

I’M NOT A RACIST, BUT…:  Almost always the next thing spoken is a racist comment. How about this: Let’s just love people no matter their skin color and treat everyone the way we want to be treated.

BEING FED: This can only be used in a restaurant or a kitchen. As in, “Excuse me Mr. Food server, I ordered my meal 45 minutes ago and I am not being fed.” It cannot be used by a non-Bible-reading-during-the-week-but-exiting-the-church parishioner to his/her weary pastor as in “I’m just not being fed.” Excuse me as I barf the food I was fed.

I DON’T HAVE TIME: Even the busiest people will make time for important tasks. If your kitchen catches on fire while you are reading this, I assure you that you will produce time to put the kitchen fire out. When it comes to our spiritual well-being we need to make time.

IMPOSSIBLE: This word can only be used if someone says that they want to drive their car from California to Japan or referring to the Detroit Lions winning a Super Bowl. It cannot be used when speaking of a person’s potential or God’s ability to transform a person or a situation; (See Luke 18:27)

Bottom line: Our words matter. Our daily prayer should echo David’s prayer: Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14 NKJV).

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