1. Bribe them with her world famous homemade fried chicken dinner after church
2. Remind them that the preacher has a 25-minute sermon guarantee or it’s free (I have heard from a good source this is not entirely true).
3. Offer to pay for travel expenses even from Australia (They’ll need to get busy. To almost quote Anthony Campolo: “It’s Thursday, but Sunday’s a comin’”).
4. Tell them if they DON’T come to church with you, then you WILL go with them to their work family picnic telling stories from their childhood (see below).
5. Promise that you will no longer remind him/her of the infamous alleged booger eating incident during the kindergarten Christmas program of 1989.
6. No Churchy. No trust fundy.
7. (If child is single) Assure her/him that you will not introduce your son/daughter to that nice young lady/fella with the wonderful personality but who also has some halitosis issues.
8. Guarantee no twisty pinches if they misbehave like the old days in church.
9. Three Words: PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEEEEEEEASE!!!
but the best way to get your adult kids to come to church with you on Mother’s Day is to simply…
10. Invite them*
*Most surveys indicate that people (even family) come to church if invited.