… The last time you read a Bible verse it was on a Christmas card.

… “Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub” was your most recent prayer.

… You bought earplugs for yourself for “Pastor Appreciation Month.”

… You started a petition drive for: “No Tithe November”

… Your co-workers refer to you as “The mean guy with an attitude.”

… Your most “spiritual” exercise on Sundays is taking a “Nazarene Nap.”

… Criticism is your spiritual gift.

… By showing up on Christmas Eve, you’ll double your church attendance for the year.

… You’ve learned the hard way that “Passing of the Peace” is not the time to grab the usher’s toupee and tell him to “Go Deep.”

… When you are compared to Oscar the Grouch, most people think the green puppet is a tad friendlier.

… You can recite the last dozen Detroit Lions football coaches, but can’t recall the twelve disciples’ names.

…The last time you shared your faith– it was to a full service Standard Oil gas station attendant as he filled your Chevy Vega gas tank and washed your windshield.

… In the friendship registers you sign in under the alias, “Mr. Noah It-all.”

… You’ve spent an entire sermon humming to yourself “99 Bottle of Beer on the Wall.”

… When asked to name your favorite hymn, you replied, “Hotel California.”

… The only time you were the first person to Sunday School, you broke into a cold sweat and thought: RAPTURE!

Or more seriously, you might need a Spiritual Renewal Week if it’s time to re-invigorate your soul and spend some quality time with the Lord. You might need a Spiritual renewal if it seems your spiritual tank is empty; your marriage is rocky; life is overwhelming; and you’re tired or just plain cranky. You might need a Spiritual Renewal if like the psalmist you are asking: Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you? (Psalm 85:6)