5) A volcano-like eruption from one of the bed sheet clad angels as a result of the combustible mixture of three candy canes, two donuts, a handful of peanuts, a cup of warm eggnog, the Christmas program jitters, bright lights on the platform, and a possible touch of a flu bug. Simply put the angels will no longer be “sweetly singing o’er the plains.” (It will be more like barfing o’er the shepherds and wisemen).
4) The hoard of parental paparazzi toting video cameras and iPhones causes such a disturbance vying for front row seats fifteen minutes before the program begins that two ushers, four security team members and Sister Annabelle are forced to put a headlock on one dad and escort a grandpa out of the sanctuary by his Santa Claus neck tie. Interestingly, the organist prelude music selection during the commotion is “God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman.”
3) The Barn Yard Brawl. When toddlers dressed up as cows and lambs for a cuteness effect in the nativity scene, begin to butt heats and act very much real cattle and sheep. The ensuing brouhaha causes the bathrobe-wearing shepherds to become junior Rambos using their staffs to put down the rebellion; the angels run for the hills; and the wisemen lose their Burger King borrowed crowns. (I will neither confirm nor deny that years ago a certain Olivet attending, freshman preacher’s kid was involved in such a scandalous Christmas production. I sincerely hope our poor program director has finally ended her therapy sessions).
2). Two words: Pyrotechnics malfunction
and 1.) When through the message of the Christmas carols sung and the parts recited– one (just one– although even more people would make the morning more memorable—still when one…) boy or girl, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, brother, sister, neighbor, second cousin three times removed, or anyone else discover that Jesus Christ really is “God with us” and that Christmas is all about God becoming man and displaying His tremendous forgiving love for all people everywhere.